rage of pimpybra

You got 30 minutes...

Wed, 09 Apr 2008 21:06:16 -0600

So there's this recent ad campaign from Domino's pizza, they show someone answer the door and the pizza guy is there. These commercials infuriate me.

Jackass: "Hey, guess what I did with my 30 minutes"

Pizza guy: "You ordered a Domino's pizza and **insert moronic thing here**"

**retardedness ensues**

Now here's the part that sets me the fuck off. When the pizza guy mentions ordering the pizza in the 30 minutes. NO! WRONG!

The ORDERING OF THE PIZZA CAN NOT BE INCLUDED IN THE 30 MINUTE WINDOW. Ordering the pizza is what CAUSED the 30 minute window to be created in the first place. You could not have the window prior to ordering the pizza.

This is one of those time paradoxes that Doc Brown would try to explain, and you'd be sitting there saying "this is heavy, Doc".

Yes, it's so minor, but god damn it, it infuriates me.

Someone at Pearl Jam is a Simpsons fan...

Mon, 17 Dec 2007 23:47:23 -0700

So, I recently ordered something from Pearl Jam's website (shh don't tell Kate), it took FOREVER to ship, and I just got the shipping notification from DHL:

The following 1 piece(s) have been sent by Santos L. Halper of Ten Club LLC via DHL Express on December 17, 2007 using Waybill xxxxxxxxxxxxxx.

Subtle, but hilarious. (Maybe this link helps)

Frank TV - Unfunny Tripe

Tue, 20 Nov 2007 21:28:53 -0700

So, after watching reruns of The Office on TBS tonight, I gave Frank TV a chance, even though I knew it would be a horrible horrible show.

First off, the commercials are horrible - ok, a guy can do decent impressions, but all the jokes he makes WITH those impersonations were a snooze-fest.

I caught a Frank TV bit about Seinfeld on YouTube a number of days ago. Again, he can kind of do the impressions pretty well, but it's just NOT funny.

So, I decided to give the show a chance, per my friend's egging me on. First bit, was the Seinfeld sketch. Great. Zzzz.

Then the rest of the show continued. Dry, uninspired, crap. They later did one bit of the "Clinton Library" and made a bunch of sexual jokes - par for the course. They said the computers have no parental filters, so you could check out informative sites, or go to "milfsluts.com". However, looking at the screen, they had "MILPHSLUTS" written on it.

Now, either you spell MILF wrong because you suck at life, or it's required by censors. I don't think it's censors, because I've seen MILF other places on tv, hell the daily show had FLILF (First Lady I'd...). TBS isn't any different than Comedy Central, and they air at the same time, so that censor defense goes down the tubes. I suppose I could have seen wrong, but I could have SWORN i saw 'PH' in there.

This was probably the least funny show I've seen in the longest time. I will never be tuning in again. TBS has failed. Frank has failed.

Iron Man

Fri, 16 Nov 2007 20:24:42 -0700

Ok, so I just caught the new trailer for Iron Man

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Looks like it has potential, but I can't get over the fact that they used Black Sabbath's "Iron Man" song. For fuck's sake, it seems too obvious! Way to be original! I'm proud of those people who chose the ONE song that EVERY ASSHOLE would choose for it. No one needs ground-breaking creativity, we'll just rehash the same hive-mind shit again and again.

I have nothing against the Iron Man song, it's fun in Guitar Hero, but I think it just cheapens the movie itself - that it breaks the fourth wall a little bit. I don't know how to even put it in words, besides the fact that it INFURIATES ME.

Napkins

Thu, 15 Nov 2007 22:30:20 -0700

So, today at work, we had cake for everyone's birthdays in September, October, November. Cake was handed out, and we were all eating.

10 seconds into my cake, a coworker turns, and gives me and a few guys a small stack of napkins. I understand the gesture, it's probably just a "ok, you have your plate, your fork, and now you need a napkin to make a place setting", but it's one of those things that just slightly irks me. Maybe she's expecting us to be messy, but it's cake, not the world's most difficult thing to jam down your cake hole.

I rarely take a napkin. In fact, I only take a napkin if I am in need of one, like when I spill food in my lap, or if I know I'm eating something messy. I don't just take a napkin to have waiting for me there, it just seems like a waste of effort and napkin resources. I'm imagining that every item is wasting precious use of Starcraft Terran Supply Depot. MINIMIZE THE USE OF RESOURCES! SHIT I'M OUT OF VESPENE GAS!

Anyway, it's hard to not seem like a jackass saying "no" to someone handing you a napkin. You just take it, and say 'thanks'. That napkin then gets jammed in your pocket, unused until you do laundry and you wonder why there are paper shreds throughout the wash.

And the IDB maturity continues...

Wed, 14 Nov 2007 22:10:52 -0700

So, the other week, I was watching Transporter 2 (thank you local library dvd lending). In one scene, the old detective from France is using a computer system... apparently some International DataBase of criminals:

I want in on THAT database!

So yeah, side note... First blog post in a while. Anything anybody wants to see on here? (Besides more IDB pictures, of course)

Best. Bank. Ever

Sun, 19 Aug 2007 21:12:37 -0600

So, from this weekend's NYC trip (which was awesome)... I decided to change all my bank accounts to a new bank:

BOOYAH

EDIT: Oh shit, IDBBank has a website. "Experience IDBBanking" "When was the last time your bank spoiled you" Aww yeah

Music Nerditry

Tue, 10 Jul 2007 20:27:32 -0600

So... I've been enjoying a song on the radio recently... Cupid's Chokehold by Gym Class heros.

If you don't know it, here's a zomgyoutubekthx:
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This past Saturday, I was driving between Frederick, MD and home to get free mulch from the county landfill. I get 2 minutes from home, and I hear this kick on the classic station:
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I was confused at first, then I just realized the new one was a cover. So I did some googling and bam, the original is from Supertramp, called "Breakfast in America". I wikipedia'ed Supertramp, and found this album. On the track listing, they also list "The Logical Song":
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I know this song, because it's the original version of a Scooter cover I've enjoyed for years:

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What is it, the 6 degrees of Supertramp out there?

How to Caulk better (snicker)

Thu, 05 Jul 2007 19:51:35 -0600

So, I was looking up tips on caulking a shower/bathtub, since I'm re-caulking our one shower stall.

I saw a nice article in This Old House magazine at my inlaw's, but wanted to double check online. So I found this article.

So I'm reading it at work, and scroll down to the comments section.

Ok, so far so good...

The comments continue...

AHAHAHAHHAHAHAH, I shit you not. I nearly LOL'ed at work. Hilarious

Acting all bad in a pizza shop - sure worth it

Tue, 03 Jul 2007 21:12:51 -0600

I'll start off... I fucking hate people. This shit makes me sick.

In short, a woman comes into the pizza shop, cuts in line, and gets in some guy's face when he speaks shit about her on his cell phone. She keeps being a bitch, and bam, in comes her big boyfriend. This winner slugs the guy in line.

No one in the shop does a thing. God, stab him or smash a fucking glass bottle in his face. I don't think 4 years in prison was enough time for him, nor was 2 years probation enough for the woman.

This kid IS an asshole.

Thu, 14 Jun 2007 14:04:06 -0600

The title on this video was right Spelling Bee Champ is an Awkward Asshole

Yet another home schooled kid who is a social retard. Jesus christ, what a dickbag.

Menergy!

Fri, 08 Jun 2007 22:57:15 -0600

Made with real lightning!

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"You'll be so fast, Mother Nature will be like slowwww dowwwn, and you'll be like fuck you! and kick her in the face with your ENERGY LEGS"

Two Things: Blingo and 'Working the Heavy Bag'

Fri, 25 May 2007 21:31:23 -0600

First off, earlier today, I stumbled upon a site which will randomly choose a winner whenever you search through them. Blingo. They are google powered, and it doesn't cost a thing to use. Just sign in, they say they don't spam you. Your first 25 searches a day can qualify to win, and they do random winnings throughout the day.

About.com has a good review of it, so I feel confident it's not a hoax.

Yes, it's semi referral based, so if you sign up through my referral link, and YOU win a prize (no matter what it is), I'll win it as well. So sign up, and pass it to your homies, and win.

Second... Apparently CostCo is recalling some of their Heavy Bags that they sell. Beacuse they're filled with underwear. These would be a great hit in Japan!

I wonder if people were running out to the store to buy more after they found out. IT PUTS THE LOTION ON THE HEAVY BAG.

Someone did RESEARCH on this?

Thu, 24 May 2007 20:59:28 -0600

You've got to be kidding me - 'Heavy-drinking college kids make worse decisions'

quote:

Young adults who binge drink frequently are more likely to show disadvantageous decision-making patterns than their peers who don't drink as heavily, a new study shows.

What moron funded this study? This is like taking a liberal arts class to coast through your senior year. "HEY GUYS, I've got an idea! Let's mix booze and college kids, I WONDER WHAT WILL HAPPEN!"

Fatty Update

Sun, 20 May 2007 21:46:03 -0600

Tomorrow is the second 'official' weigh in for the fatty nation here. So, weigh yourselves tomorrow morning, and enter it up and let's stack up how we're all doing.

More information is now being dumped out on the fatty page. Goals are listed, as well as how people are coming along w/ their goals.