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So there's this recent ad campaign from Domino's pizza, they show someone answer the door and the pizza guy is there. These commercials infuriate me.

Jackass: "Hey, guess what I did with my 30 minutes"

Pizza guy: "You ordered a Domino's pizza and **insert moronic thing here**"

**retardedness ensues**

Now here's the part that sets me the fuck off. When the pizza guy mentions ordering the pizza in the 30 minutes. NO! WRONG!

The ORDERING OF THE PIZZA CAN NOT BE INCLUDED IN THE 30 MINUTE WINDOW. Ordering the pizza is what CAUSED the 30 minute window to be created in the first place. You could not have the window prior to ordering the pizza.

This is one of those time paradoxes that Doc Brown would try to explain, and you'd be sitting there saying "this is heavy, Doc".

Yes, it's so minor, but god damn it, it infuriates me.

Mood: Rage

Comments: 7

So, I recently ordered something from Pearl Jam's website (shh don't tell Kate), it took FOREVER to ship, and I just got the shipping notification from DHL:

The following 1 piece(s) have been sent by Santos L. Halper of Ten Club LLC via DHL Express on December 17, 2007 using Waybill xxxxxxxxxxxxxx.

Subtle, but hilarious. (Maybe this link helps)

Mood: Doh?

Comments: 2

So, after watching reruns of The Office on TBS tonight, I gave Frank TV a chance, even though I knew it would be a horrible horrible show.

First off, the commercials are horrible - ok, a guy can do decent impressions, but all the jokes he makes WITH those impersonations were a snooze-fest.

I caught a Frank TV bit about Seinfeld on YouTube a number of days ago. Again, he can kind of do the impressions pretty well, but it's just NOT funny.

So, I decided to give the show a chance, per my friend's egging me on. First bit, was the Seinfeld sketch. Great. Zzzz.

Then the rest of the show continued. Dry, uninspired, crap. They later did one bit of the "Clinton Library" and made a bunch of sexual jokes - par for the course. They said the computers have no parental filters, so you could check out informative sites, or go to "milfsluts.com". However, looking at the screen, they had "MILPHSLUTS" written on it.

Now, either you spell MILF wrong because you suck at life, or it's required by censors. I don't think it's censors, because I've seen MILF other places on tv, hell the daily show had FLILF (First Lady I'd...). TBS isn't any different than Comedy Central, and they air at the same time, so that censor defense goes down the tubes. I suppose I could have seen wrong, but I could have SWORN i saw 'PH' in there.

This was probably the least funny show I've seen in the longest time. I will never be tuning in again. TBS has failed. Frank has failed.

Mood: Not laughing.

Comments: 2

Ok, so I just caught the new trailer for Iron Man

Looks like it has potential, but I can't get over the fact that they used Black Sabbath's "Iron Man" song. For fuck's sake, it seems too obvious! Way to be original! I'm proud of those people who chose the ONE song that EVERY ASSHOLE would choose for it. No one needs ground-breaking creativity, we'll just rehash the same hive-mind shit again and again.

I have nothing against the Iron Man song, it's fun in Guitar Hero, but I think it just cheapens the movie itself - that it breaks the fourth wall a little bit. I don't know how to even put it in words, besides the fact that it INFURIATES ME.

Mood: I am Rage Man

Comments: 3

So, today at work, we had cake for everyone's birthdays in September, October, November. Cake was handed out, and we were all eating.

10 seconds into my cake, a coworker turns, and gives me and a few guys a small stack of napkins. I understand the gesture, it's probably just a "ok, you have your plate, your fork, and now you need a napkin to make a place setting", but it's one of those things that just slightly irks me. Maybe she's expecting us to be messy, but it's cake, not the world's most difficult thing to jam down your cake hole.

I rarely take a napkin. In fact, I only take a napkin if I am in need of one, like when I spill food in my lap, or if I know I'm eating something messy. I don't just take a napkin to have waiting for me there, it just seems like a waste of effort and napkin resources. I'm imagining that every item is wasting precious use of Starcraft Terran Supply Depot. MINIMIZE THE USE OF RESOURCES! SHIT I'M OUT OF VESPENE GAS!

Anyway, it's hard to not seem like a jackass saying "no" to someone handing you a napkin. You just take it, and say 'thanks'. That napkin then gets jammed in your pocket, unused until you do laundry and you wonder why there are paper shreds throughout the wash.

Mood: Not Messy

Comments: 3